Fairytale or Drunken Recollections: The Origins of The Swan and Tomato Blog Title
“Names of English pubs, like names of racehorses, are a law unto themselves.” (Via)
The Swan and Tomato Blog is not an English pub. It is in fact not even a pub. It is a blog (thus this written text you see here.) However, unlike the English pub world and names of racehorses (presumably, I don’t actually know any racehorses,) I’ve found that names in the blogosphere are dull at best, and less witty or ironic than was presumably intended at worst. So I’ve taken a feather out of the barman’s hat and titled my blog after nothing relevant at all. A half-assed google search tells me my blog name could mean either:
Main Entry: 1swan
Inflected Form(s): plural swans
1 plural also swan : any of various large heavy-bodied long-necked mostly pure white aquatic birds (family Anatidae, especially genus Cygnus) that have webbed feet and are related to but larger than the geese
2 : one that resembles or is likened to a swan
Main Entry: to·ma·to
Pronunciation: \tə-ˈmā-(ˌ)tō; chiefly British, eNewEng, neVirginia, and sometimes elsewhere in cultivated speech -ˈmä-; chiefly Northern -ˈma-\
Inflected Form(s): plural to·ma·toes
1 : the usually large rounded typically red or yellow pulpy berry of an herb (genus Lycopersicon) of the nightshade family native to South America
2 : a plant that produces tomatoes; especially : one (Lycopersicon esculentum syn. L. lycopersicum) that is a tender perennial widely cultivated as an annual for its edible fruit
OR, in slang (apparently)
1. (noun) A large bird that is similar to but much larger than a goose. The most recognized type of swan is the Mute Swan, which is all white except for its black face, orange bill and black legs and feet. It is native to parts of Europe and has been artificially introduced to North America as somewhat of a “decorative bird.” If geese mess with it, it will chase them away. If you mess with it, it will chase you away. If you see a swan nesting, run because her mate will get pissed and will start coming at you. Doesn’t sound very intimidating, but when you’re staring into the eyes of an oncoming angry swan, you’ll understand.
2. (noun) Slang term for a female who was once unattractive but somehow became very attractive (referencing the “Ugly Duckling” story).
1. The swan swam gracefully across the pond.
Crap, that swan’s not backing off, it’s still coming at me…Screw this, I don’t want to get beaten up by a bird!
2. Wow, remember when that girl was really ugly? She’s such a swan
1. A term used to describe someone who is denial of his homosexuality…because even though you think a tomato is a vegetable, it’s really a “fruit”
What a tomato, he definitely likes guys
2. A sexy curvacious woman, usually dressed in a manner that invites men to try and fuck her
Man, that chick is one hot tomato. I want to fuck the hell out of her and I don’t care who’s watching.
Now, none of these definitions have anything to do with my blog at all. But if you actually made it this far down the ‘About’ page then at least you managed to kill enough time that someone had to have updated something for you to glance at on Facebook. And if you actually want to know about me, I am (in no particular order) a: writer, crochet-er, student, feminist, activist, artist, potter (clay,) reader, baker, susie-homemaker, blogger, human female person in her early 20’s.